Health and Fitness Goal for 2014

My health and fitness goal for 2014 is to find balance. For the last four years, I have been on a health roller coaster and I am so tired of the up and down. In the beginning of 2010, I was depressed. We had been in DC for two years and I was struggling to find a meaningful permanent job which also meant I was struggling to make friends. I was not at all motivated to exercise and my weight skyrocketed to 205 pounds. Luckily, that spring, I found the job I now have which is fulfilling and has helped me make some wonderful, supportive, friends. That, combined with our engagement, finally provided the motivation I needed. I aimed to lose 20 pounds by our wedding day so I would be at the weight I was when Ryan and I met and I succeeded!

After our wedding, I was determined not to be one of those women who just settles in to married life and lets herself go. My new goal was to continue to lose weight or get pregnant and I would be happy with whatever happened first. I lost 10 more pounds, dropping down to 175 -- the lowest weight I has been since I was 17! And, I got pregnant!

The beginning of my pregnancy was great. I was gaining weight right on schedule and was on my way to only gaining 30 pounds which was my pregnancy goal. I knew I had lost it before and I could do it again. Well, when you spend 11 weeks confined to your bed and your couch, keeping weight gain to a minimum is nearly impossible. At the peak of my pregnancy, I was up to 215 pounds. What was crazy to me was, just two years before, I was on my way to that weight without being pregnant! Yikes! I realized how grateful I was to have made the effort to get healthy before becoming pregnant because it was the motivation I needed to never be near those numbers ever again.

Naturally, I lost 15 pounds with the delivery but that all returned quickly as water weight when I went into heart failure. When I started the medication for my heart, the first goal was to get rid of all the water surrounding my heart to enable it to pump freely. I lost 15 pounds of water in a week. By the time Logan was 6 weeks old, the medication I was on helped me get back down to 185 pounds which had been my normal weight my whole life. Since it was so easy, I got a little lazy and, as I tapered off my medication, my weight slowly creeped back up to 195 pounds.

That was too close to that scary number! My motivation was back. Not only did I want to avoid those numbers for the rest of my life, I knew I wanted to be a healthy example for my son and I wanted to do everything I could to help my heart recover. I was back in the gym and actually running. By Logan's 1st birthday, I was back down  to 175 pounds and I was so happy.

But then, I started to feel like working out wasn't making me feel so good. I felt like I kept getting injured in my knees, back, and especially my hips. It was taking four days for me to recover from a moderately paced 30 minute run. I lost all power in my stride. I was exhausted. I could barely stay awake to read Logan a story -- how could I possibly run 3 miles? I stopped exercising completely. I knew something was wrong.

I feared it was my heart, but tests showed I was on my way back to a healthy heart. So, I thought maybe I was developing arthritis like both of my parents, but my bones looked great. The orthopedist referred me to a rheumatologist. Several weeks of tests ruled out everything but fibromyalgia and gentle pressure to my tender points proved it. I finally had an explanation for my pain, exhaustion, lack of power, and lack of motivation.

For the last six months, I have been struggling with this new disease. Luckily, my restricted diet has helped me in two ways: it reduces the pain I feel in response to food and it has helped me avoid gaining weight, despite not exercising. I have been scared to exercise. Exercise helps most people feel good but the few bike rides I managed to muddle through in the summer and fall were no picnic. My power is gone. My recovery sucks. And, I have to pee the whole time. Fibromyalgia stinks. The things I need most to feel healthy are the hardest things to achieve: sleep and exercise.

This year, I need to figure out what this body can do. I need to learn what I can do on good days, what I can do on bad days, and what to avoid on good days to keep them from turning into bad days. My goal is not to become a powerhouse. You won't see my picture on a before and after video because I'm not trying to make huge changes. I intend to start small to see what I can handle. For optimum health, my doctors recommend avoiding intense exercise in order to avoid injury and, instead, focusing on low-impact cardio, stretching, and muscle manipulation.

My concrete goals for the beginning of 2014 are:

1. Start getting physical therapy and massage once every two weeks. I actually have a prescription for massage!
2. Do 30 minutes of focused cardio (biking, elliptical, or inclined walking) in my office gym once per week during lunch.
3. Do 30 minutes of yoga in the evenings at home once per week.

This may not sound like much, but, for me, it's huge and it's scary because I don't know what the result will be. Just like an elimination diet, incorporating new things into a fibro body is always a risk. I have no idea how my body will react in the moment and I have no idea how I will recover. This is my starting point and the opportunity to gauge my reactions. Eventually, hopefully, I will be capable of increasing the duration and frequency of my activities. And, maybe, in the meantime, I will reach my next weight loss goal. In the end, my biggest hope is to continue to be a good example for Logan and live a long, happy, healthy life!